Magic The Gathering: the funniest captions

Magic The Gathering: the funniest captions
We know that within the universe of Magic The Gathering there is an underlying story, a mythology that encompasses all the characters, creatures and objects of the game world and chains them together. They are linked by a fil rouge dictated by the expansion they are part of: a practical example is the whole Kamigawa vein, one of the various "planes of existence", inspired by Feudal Japan and the mythological creatures that are part of it.

However, to better frame this lore, each card has a sort of caption in its lower part, which can be the passage of an elusive book, a sentence of a certain character or simply information regarding what is represented on the card itself. Very often, the authors have fun with bizarre and funny phrases, designed to break a little the seriousness of some games and not to take themselves too seriously, which in the various "joke expansions", such as the Unhinged, happens for every single card, while in the normal ones they represent a nice exception.

In this article, we will see the nicest and most iconic ones, entered in the hearts of many Magic The Gathering fans.

Read also: Magic The Gathering special sets: Unglued, Unhinged, Unstable and Unsanctioned

Canyon Minotaur

Canyon Minotaur was first printed in Conflux , the second expansion of the Shards of Alara block and had a much more serious description:

“In Fund, the depths of the canyons were the best places to hide. When the goblins arrived in Naya, however, they discovered the hard way that things were different. "

From its first reprint in the Core Set 2010 , this ruthless warrior, he received, instead, became more carefree, funny and devoted to adventure, as his likely partner will have to take to force the most difficult to cross this elusive canyon:

“We'll scale these cliffs, traverse the Bridge and Crumbly, then our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side.”

“It is shorter to cross the canyon?”


“So we shouldn't...”



Not only creatures, but also the Instant have a description. Here, then, is the one that we find on the Force , a red card, part of the expansion of the Assault , that allows you to reveal a creature covered on the field of the opponent:

“There are two ways to solve the puzzles: by reflection or by force. After a deep reflection, most barbarians choose force.”

Marauder Goblin

The Marauder Goblin has been reprinted several times and in the first three ( Portal Second Was the Saga of Urza and with the same description in the Seventh, Eighth or Ninth edition ) has always had the captions are different, of course, all decidedly ironic:

Portal Second Was:

“I have seen many battles. To win you have to hit hard and avoid getting hit back!”

the Saga of Urza:

“I Was proud to bring the skin of a lizard to life, just for the fun of annoying the enemy.”

Seventh, Eighth and Ninth Edition:

“it's smart to be a Goblin. Manages to do two things: hit and run away.”

Change in a way that is important enough the picture, even if it takes on a connotation so much ironic.

Scagliaorda Goblin

The Goblins are the ones that have descriptions more crazy!! And is not less than the Scagliaorda Goblin , present both in the expansion Assault , both in Origins , but curiously, in the second the caption is no longer present, having left the place to the explanation of the skill “ Protection from Blue “:

“Scaglia enough goblins on any problem and you should solve it. And in any case, you'll find yourself with less goblin by the feet.”

Field Lit

Lit it is not a paper goblin, but the pesky critters are still the protagonists of both the illustration and the caption at the bottom of the paper (in addition to having a Italian localization of the name of the paper really surprising):

“If you want to kill several goblins, just that you do seem funny your defenses.”


As already happened in the past, even the paper Forward, printed in the Fate of Urza that in the Seventh Edition, change the description in each of its two representations, it is still a lot of fun:

Destiny Urza:

“Ask a Keldoniano holding forward and you'll hold your guts.”

the Seventh Edition:

“I'll count to three. Three.”

the Wall of Thorns Friesland

What would you say if I throw with the feet about a wall of thorns? Exactly what it says on the caption of the Wall of Thorns Friesland:

“Ow! Ow ow ow! Oooh, ow, OW!”

The paper, also, could earn the ability to “ Pack “, which was abandoned after the expansion Cavalcavento , due to its complexity. His description, in fact, was this:

“All the creatures with the pack and up to a creature without the pack, they can attack in a pack. The pack is blocked as a group and a pack that is blocking or attacking, in the moment of the block, the player owner of the herd, chooses how to split the damage.”

We can claim to be seriously happy of the abandonment of the mechanical.

Meteor shower

Rain of Meteors, it is a very simple one, which deals damage to a few targets of their own choosing. It will be perhaps for this reason that its description reads a kind of nursery rhyme to choose at random?

“Ambarabà ciccì cucco...Oh, why not all?”

it's really a shame that this card was printed only in the expansion of the Ice age (but don't worry, it is easily obtainable at a nominal price).

Wall of Swords

The Wall of Swords, it's been reprinted many, many times, since the first expansion Alpha. It's nothing earth-shattering, being a creature with “ the Defender” (and therefore not being able to attack, but only block) and its caption were not worthy of note...until its reissue to the Core Set in 2014 , in which, under a quote from Olander, tactician of the Northern Edge, says:

“it was Not what I had in mind when I said we needed more swords to defend the kingdom.”


Stamp is a red spell is very powerful, from the very high cost, that allows you to destroy practically anything on the field of play. In fact, his description in almost all of the reissues is rather serious as it talks about the funeral made by the mage Barrin to his family:

“For his family, Barrin made a funeral pyre on Tolaria.”

In its reprinting in Eighth Edition, instead, has decided to give it a connotation that is completely different and becomes a sort of dialogue between Barrin himself and an imaginary soldier, Keldon , after the spell Obliterate, in fact, has been launched:

“The enemy has been destroyed, sir. As well as the forest, the city, his palace, his dog...”

These are just some of the captions more funny that you can find in the cards of Magic The Gathering . There are also some expansions to the deliberately ironic and witty, which we have already spoken , calls “ A-Set “, for the prefix “A-” preceding the name of each, which you put in origin as the set is completely nonsense , with captions, illustrations, names, and effects totally crazy .

As mentioned in the opening, however, are those of the expansion joint to make them special and unique , just because of the nice exceptions that allow you to break the pace of the game and that can surely raise a smile to the players.

If you like Magic and want a taste of the madness of A-Set, you can buy the complete kit of the Un-Sanctioned, which will allow you to play immediately with a friend by using the special rules of the new expansion from the silver border. You can find it by clicking here .

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