Quark Souls: The Absolute Worst Souls Likes on the Steam Store

Quark Souls: The Absolute Worst Souls Likes on the Steam Store
Still haven't shot a PS5? You can't enjoy the terrific remake of Demon's Souls? Then comfort yourself with a Souls-like over the waiting time! The term "Souls-like" describes games that cut off a large piece of the tasty Dark Souls cake and conjure up a delicious new dish from it. Titles like "The Surge 2", "Remnant: From the Ashes" and "Let it Die" proudly reveal their inspiration and still manage to add their own touch to the mix. The internet is full of praise for well-designed soul-likes - but that's not why we're here. In this small but nasty article we introduce you to the worst Souls-likes that you can currently find on the market. At least the waiting time is a little shorter when you realize that "No Game" is still better than a cynical Souls-Like monstrosity. That's why we go into the depths of the steam dungeon for our inclined readers and drag the worst, most blocked and funniest Dark Souls clones we could find to daylight. Without promising too much: It will be catastrophic.

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The soul of the Souls games - an analysis

What is so fascinating about the Souls games? The PC Games Special analyzes the special features of the games from From Software. var lstExcludedArticleTicker = '1365328,1233939'; Hentai no hero

We are starting at full speed, with a pearl of the entertainment industry: In Hentai no Hero you play a heroine who not only has no background story and no character, but also no functional clothing. Your exciting journey through the standard assets of the Unreal store takes you through dramatic environments such as "Green Meadow", "Gray Hills" and "Greener Meadow". The first character with the sonorous name Erectus Bitedefer welcomes you with the wise words "Welcome, which leads us to more than the task Iventhal at this time." No landscape, no variety, no sense: Hentai no Hero has a stamina bar, so it has to be Souls-like. Game of the year, a thousand points! Source: SeedWall Then you discover with joy that the button for "pierce" is also the button for "capture target" - perfect, Souls Likes are famous for their brutal level of difficulty. Those who hope for suggestive situations through the promising word "Hentai" in the game title will unfortunately be disappointed, because the only nasty thing in this game is the controls. Anyone who has always wanted to drive a truck on ice skates will definitely be happy with Hentai no Hero. But hey, the game gives you a life bar, a stamina bar and the feature "put on sword and shield" advertised on the steam page. We award a rating from one of ten Estus bottles.


Please smile! The built-in monstrosities in Dark SASI emit neighs and goose chattering while bugs fire you across the vault. Source: Narko Games

If Hentai no Hero hasn't left enough scars on your soul, you will find your master in Dark SASI. As a normal gamer, the main character picks up a mysterious book from the street and is then thrown into a dark fantasy universe. Prepare for a lot of wildly neighing zombies with fire axles. Tries to avoid three-headed babies while the physics engine fires you for some unknown reason after two steps across the room. Enjoy life bars that look like wrapping paper from a shop for Gothic accessories and throw your headphones and your inner ear in the trash after hearing the completely overdriven death fanfare for the first time. Our favorite is a gigantic boss with an exposed brain who puts his weapons away in the middle of a fight, utters high-pitched screams and puts on a first-class breakdance on the floor. No, we don't mean "the boss's movements look silly". We mean an actual breakdance. Some games are so bad they are good again. Dark SASI is so bad that even years later you sit at the breakfast table with a ten thousand mile view and moan back and forth. After all, the Steam Achievements don't work, so you won't be reminded of your nightmare-like excursion in Dark SASI.

Vicious Gambling Agreement

Not bad: If you don't feel like a boss fight, you can play in Vicious Gambling Agreement also just hop over a fence and bypass the whole thing. Source: FANG You read that right, the title of our next challenger is loosely translated as "Malicious Gambling Agreement". As you would expect from a title like this, the game is mostly about the conflict between humans and orcs. Just gambling. As a stiff-legged Viking, you fight generic asset store enemies in the Vicious Gambling Agreement. Anyone expecting the typical slow, deliberate Dark Souls fight can expect a very special treat: The orcs in the Vicious Gambling Agreement don't give a damn about superfluous things, such as clear attack animations and basic pattern recognition. Instead, attacks are simply carried out ten times per second. Bosses attack with expressive gymnastics moves that will blow you out of your life even if you are on the other side of the room. It's good that you can avoid boss fights simply by climbing over a knee-high wall and waving and jogging past the head orc. Every now and then the wrath of a spurned boss hits you with all his might, so that the next time you try it conjures up such catastrophic graphics errors on your screen that you can only save your howling GPU with hands and feet from the honorable suicide. We thankfully forego a second playthrough.

Gangsta Woman

Do you feel the burning urge to run through deserted rubble dumps while your chick just drops dead every now and then? Gangsta Woman is the game for you! Source: Tero Lunkka Most of the positive Steam reviews for Gangsta Woman contain just two words: Gangsta Woman. We agree. Anyone who is tired of the twisty areas of Dark Souls (buy now € 41.91) will be very happy with this; Gangsta Woman only fills gigantic soccer stadiums with zombies and connects everything with flimsy board bridges. Gangsta Woman even increases the level of difficulty a little, as your gangster chick just falls over like a board every now and then. Dead. Why we don't know, but this mystery plays into the mysterious background world of Gangsta Woman: Why can kites fly through walls? Why is the HDR setting so high that your eyes turn into dried up meatballs when you look at the sun? And why does the frame rate occasionally drop to the rate of a slide projector from Erich Honecker's time? If you want to reveal these secrets and invest a lot of time in Gangsta Woman, you will be pleased about the opportunity to change the face of your Holden while the game is running. There are no limits with the body sliders, so that if you wish you can romp through the deserted levels with a defaced meat praline. We are thrilled and join the Steam comments in our final rating: Gangsta Woman, dear readers. Gangsta Woman.

The Fallen

As the last game on this list we come to a little trash gem and this time we mean it all seriously: The Fallen is, unlike the others Doing things in this excursion, completely free of charge. You play a cowardly knight who has to win back his honor in the afterlife by defeating three final bosses. In addition to the robot-like pounding and completely brain-dead enemies, an enormous, gigantic, huge amount of bugs stand in your way - all of which are so amusing that we often had to laugh out loud. Reaching the end of the level becomes quite difficult when your knight is fired back and forth like a red ping-pong ball just because you had the audacity to use a grappling hook. The interesting thing about the completely screwed up game, however, is that the player notices from the start that someone has put effort and passion into it. Don't get us wrong: The Fallen is qualitatively horrific. But there is an actual story, full dubbing and an attempt to set up a real gameplay. And if you're wondering why everything here looks like it was stapled together from plasticine and cardboard: Not one of the assets was bought from the Unity store.

The Fallen is not a good game. But it's still fun because someone really tried hard. Plus, it's free - unlike every other title on this list. Source: 6 Pillars Studio Clever readers have surely already guessed the solution: The Fallen is an exercise by college students from Ontario, Canada. On the one hand, this explains the manageable quality, because quality assurance is still a tricky business - at least in the serious attempt to set up a functioning video game. On the other hand, this explains why, despite the lack of fine-tuning (and coarse-tuning ...), we still had fun doing it and on top of that didn't have to pay anything for it. You can also tell in the trash area when someone is really trying instead of just filling the Steam Store with cheap junk or memes. Maybe we will hear more from the guys and gals from Ontario soon. So we're ending our list of Souls worst likes on a cautiously optimistic note. What are your worst experiences with a Souls like? Did you also have a trash surprise? We are excited!

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